Settling.

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Have you ever just gotten to a place where you start to squirm a little?…you fidget?. Not physically but mentally and emotionally. You get uncomfortable and you think that you ought to move? I’ve recently experienced this. Maybe something just bothered you a little…like someone poked you and disturbed your inner sleeping bear. For some reason, or another, you felt unsettled in a place that you had otherwise felt perfectly still, unpacked, moved in…and settled.

I suppose I’ve been reckoning with the facts of life lately that things can get REAL off course. And I’m not really talking about myself…just watching people and things around me learn over and over again that fair is simply a place where you go to buy cotton candy.

I was driving the other day (when I do my best thinking) and I was trying to figure out just what it was I was feeling unsettled about. Here I was going about my business like any other day and then WHAM…suddenly I’m questioning what I’m doing/why/etc. I felt a little frustrated about it because those feelings were very much uninvited.

Suddenly, it totally hit me that we humans are pretty much just like an old house. You just get to a point and then you settle. You know, that fun thing your house does in the middle of the night without fail when the husband is out of town and the dogs are on high alert and you pull the covers over your head and hold your breath listening for anything to break through the silence again? Love that.

But really, I’m slowly starting to realize that just when you get to a place where you are cozy something pops or cracks…just to let you know it’s there. I started thinking that settling is a good thing. If your house is settling it means it’s getting broken in, lived in, and is relaxing its bones for the long haul with you and your crazy family.

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I decided that when my life starts to settle I should take it as a sign that I’m arriving somewhere and I’m living there for a while…I’m just getting settled in. I don’t need to squirm, I just need to plop down on my couch and stretch out.

Don’t people say you get an itch after 3 and 7 years of marriage? I think those people are probably just settling…like an old house. I think when people start to get cranky and impatient about their job after a few years they are just settling….like an old house. I think whenever the grass is starting to look greener on the other side it’s 1 of 2 things 1) those other folks are watering their grass more 2) there’s a lot more manure over there ….either way I don’t feel like hopping the fence to land in some soggy sh*t …(excuse my French but it just sounded better that way so I went for it)

Anyways, I just wanted to jot this life lesson down for my future self…because I’m sure to settle again somewhere down the road. Next time I’ll just smile and say (just like every husband or dad has said to their scared wife or child) “aww it’s nothing…just the old house settling”

Speaking of settling….dear house, you can feel free to stop anytime now.

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Yall. I cannot. Wait. To fix this. It’s weird.

2 Replies to “Settling.”

  1. I think these unsettled times of fidgeting and squirming present us with the opportunity to RE-CHOOSE something. In a way, for me, anyhow, it’s as though in these times I am testing what it would be like to give something up.

    Choice seems necessary to peace. Feeling locked in to something—>fidgeting/squirming—>the realization that there is indeed a choice—>the active re-choosing or DE-choosing of whatever it was we’d been feeling locked in to.

    I know in my own life, once I actively re-choose whatever it is, I feel light and airy and happy and ready for whatever comes next!! It’s good! On the other hand, the times I’ve actively decided NOT to re-choose something I have felt relief, sometimes accompanied by moments of regret/remorse and sometimes not.

    In the end, I seem to almost always “get my second wind” after feeling unsettled and ultimately re-choose whatever it was, though I have de-chosen at times as well. How about you?

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