I spent a really inappropriate amount of time during 2015 trying to figure out how to wear all my hats.
Follower of Christ. Wife. Mother. Daughter. Friend. Employee. Supervisor. Renovator. Housekeeper. Cook. Volunteer. Coffee addict. Wannabe Writer (totally FAILING)
I’ve been asked before how we get everything done we do get done. 1. we have A LOT of help. 2. I don’t know…I think it gets done somewhere between the 5th cup of coffee and insanity. During my quest for instruction I stumbled upon some really incredible and inspiring women who seemed to all live by the same motto…. Just STOP.
There are days I think a few more pages in all my half read devotional books will make it all come together.
There are a few days I think about how it’s unfair women have to put an extra hour into the day trying to live up to society’s normal version of pretty. (seriously. This on top of pay inequality? Ugh.)
There are a few days I pour an extra cup of coffee just so I can sip from this mug for a few more precious moments.
I made a huge decision during the last part of 2015 to reduce my workload to 50%. I want to preface this paragraph by saying how lucky I feel to have the opportunity to be able to do this in the first place. However, the decision came with some heart ache. The decision comes with the need to reconcile why I’m making that choice about 3 times a day. Every day. I earned my degree. I passed the exam. I worked hard to establish relationships. And whether I think I’m competitive or not, well, you put enough work into anything and you’ll become competitive about it. I lost a lot of sleep before I decided about how I was inevitably going off pace from the peers I started with. About taking a significant pay cut. And if I’m honest, about if I would be enough for Everly at home. I didn’t get a degree in how to raise a toddler….didn’t pass an exam about how to be a stay at home…anything.
Don’t get me wrong. Everly is worth every lost part of work. Because things you can never get back will never have a price tag. I get about 5 years before a significant portion of her will be shaped by teachers and peers. I have to tell myself that every. Single. Day. Sometimes I feel guilty about the fact that I have to tell myself why I’m doing what I’m doing. I’m excited to start a new year and a new-ish role.
Although I don’t actually know what that role is yet. I’m in the process of trying to figure out how to walk around with my legs in two different buckets. I’m tripping a lot…but I’m going to get it. And if I don’t…well…..life wasn’t really meant to run quickly was it?
Seeing new numbers on a planner is so darn inspiring.
Here’s to 2016. Here’s to giving ourselves grace. Knowing we are enough. Here’s to drinking more water, flossing, and spending more time in God’s word. Here’s to doing the things we find important, writing more, worrying less, playing more, working enough, and loving big.